can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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