Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
