my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Damn victory sex feels great
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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