the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
