Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
