Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
