Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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