a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
