Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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