I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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