I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
