Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
