I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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