he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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