where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
