the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
