things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
