Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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