so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
