If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
