Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
