Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She even gives head with a lisp.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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