I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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