I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
