we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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