Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
