I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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