4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
