So drunk its hurt
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
