She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
