I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
