So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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