Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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