But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
