You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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