Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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(647): View more from Ontario

You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Does the room smell any better?

(859): View more from Kentucky

Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.

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(419): View more from Ohio

She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!

(647): View more from Ontario

That is always a wonderful personality trait!

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.

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