yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
