I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
