I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Randomize
