Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
