Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

i think i have herpe

(1-916): View more from California

just one?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm

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(847): View more from Illinois

so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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(555): View more from

Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi

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