dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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