Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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