I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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