ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize