The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
