I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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