wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
