I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
