so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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