yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
