i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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