ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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