We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
