whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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