Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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