I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
