We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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