Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
