ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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