A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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