I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
