I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
