you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
