don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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