Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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