No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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