i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
