Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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