he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
