He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
